It feels like we've been on one the past couple days. Mom is needing anti nausea meds and pain pills now. This is difficult, because once she is on the meds she can't communicate very clearly and I feel like I've lost her already. She had successfully been off all pain meds for a couple months and she was so much her usual self. She would laugh and talk, it was a gift.
My flesh and my heart faileth; but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. Psalm 73:26
Mom was up at 8:30AM she had her usual poached egg, toast and Boost. She ate about 1/2 of it. She took her important meds and is now sleeping on her side.
Hope is an incredible gift. It is also painful. I am here fussing over pills and is she getting enough nutrients and watching all my effort be for naught. I can't save her, I can't heal her, I can't fix this. I can only hope to make her comfortable, move her body for her, feed her bites when she'll take them, administer medicine for pain when she asks, comfort her when she is confused.
I don't know how I'll let her go.
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